Letters from a Man Whose Love Is Not at War
by x HoRo HoRo
Summary: ONESHOT This is a story of two lovers, distant apart because of war, and soon to be reunited. But months turned to years, and Syaoran has not returned. All Sakura wanted was a happy ending to a dreadful start. Will she ever be with the one she loves?


**Letters from a Man Whose Love Is Not at War  
****By: x HoRo HoRo**

_May 23__rd__, 2004_

_My dear flower, this is my first time ever going overseas, as you'd know as well. I'm sorry, but I have to do this if I ever want to be with you again. The military is tough, and so am I, but I know you well, and I know your tougher than our whole army put together. You'll survive, as long as you believe in me._

_Gomen, I left a short message, but I have to go now, but I'll promise you that my next letter will be even longer._

_**Love, Li Syaoran**_

As young eighteen year old Kinomoto Sakura quietly sat in her cushioned chair, she did nothing but hold the letter tightly in the binds of her arms and chest. Just waiting as she wanted nothing but more letters from the boy she loved; overseas at war, defending his country as any man or women would have done themselves. She thought about what she would have done. Would she have joined the army just to be with the person she wanted most? She didn't have the answer, but at the moment, all she wanted, were letters and the love he sent over.

_June 18__th__, 2004_

_Did you miss me? Things over here are going quite smoothly, luckily for me, I hadn't had to squeeze the trigger on my gun yet, and hopefully, I never have to. But boy do I miss you. That's all I ever think about, I'm insane when it comes to you. I even pretend that my gun is you, and I'm cradling you every step of the way. Some of the guys thought I was crazy, but it didn't matter to me._

_Right now, I'm just sitting in my tent, technically I have to be outside on guard, but I took a fifteen minute break… don't tell anyone, but it's been almost an hour already and I've still haven't gone back, haha! That's how important you are to me._

_So how are you doing, Sakura-chan?? I hope your well, and please, don't be sad that I'm away for such a long time. I'll be back soon. I don't know how soon, but I promise you, I will. Even though we are far apart, I feel that my love for you has just gotten stronger everytime I send you a letter. I hope you feel the same, because no matter what happens, you will always be mine, and I hope that I will always be yours._

_Ha, but I have to go now, the guys are yelling at me right now. I love you!_

_**Love, Li Syaoran**_

But she knew that soon wouldn't be soon. Soon the _soon_ would lead to longer _soon's_ and soon those _soon's_ will turn into weeks. After every week that went by, Sakura felt heavy in her. Every day that went by without a letter gave her fright, and gave her feelings that the one she loved had died. But no, as long as she waited, she would believe in Syaoran, and hopes that he is alright. Syaoran wasn't a man that would go down so easily, or a man that would accept defeat even when defeated.

_July 24__th__, 2004_

_I hope your summer's going well. Last week was kind of a fright for me; I've actually had to open fire. I have to admit, it was really scary, but fun at the same time. I can't really tell if I've actually killed anyone yet, but the important thing is that were safe right now, no more loud shootings going on at the moment, and I'm glad of it too. _

_At the moment, were rebuilding what's been damaged, and reorganizing our stuff; but me, I'm sitting here, writing a letter to the one I love most, some of the guys find that a problem, but some of the guys also think it's sweet… of course, I love writing to you. I'd love calling you and actually talking to you too, but we, unfortunately, don't have a phone._

_Nyah! I have to get back to work now; I'll see you later alright?_

_**Love, Li Syaoran**_

_August 17__th__, 2004_

_I'm in a scary situation now… please don't be scared though. Right now, I'm being held hostage… somewhere. I have to choose my words carefully or else they'll end up killing me. But please, I know you probably are, but don't be scared. I will be alright as long as I do what they say, and if you keep on believing in me._

_I'm sorry, but they want me to keep the letter short, so I can't really write a long-_

Sakura had to think, did he stop there on purpose? Or was the letter he wrote on taken away from him? There was a long skinny ink mark at the end of the letter, so Sakura feared the worst… capture, hostage, anything in those files was where her Syaoran would be in.

After his last letter, months went by and no more had come through the mail. Soon, those months that she waited kept getting longer and longer, then the week started acting like months, and the days started acting like week, and soon, every minute of her life was like every minute of death. She couldn't eat, she couldn't sleep, and every night, she'd cry about how Syaoran was, or if he'd even still be alive.

**October 22****nd****, 2004**

"Do you think he'll come back, Tomoyo-chan?" Sakura asked her best friend. Her emerald eyes seemed to have rained out. She wanted to cry, she wanted to sob, and she wanted to yell, but nothing ever came out. Not for a whole month, she didn't want to eat, and she didn't want to sleep. Sometimes she wondered if everything she had been through was a dream. Some parts of the dream she wished were true, and some parts she wished they weren't.

"I'm sure he will." Tomoyo answer, she slung her hair back over her shoulders and smiled brightly. Knowing that a smile was the best way to cheer someone up, she couldn't help but to take Sakura's own hands into her own. "Please smile Sakura-chan… I smile suits you best."

Thankful that her friend wanted to help, and that her depression only made others even worst, she forced a smile. Though she and Tomoyo knew it was fake, but it was the only thing that would brighten her day even if it was just by a little bit.

"I wish I could tell him how much I love him." Sakura mumbled. "If I only had one chance…"

Her displeasure left her clinging onto the loose clothing of Tomoyo- who comforted her like a best friend would – and using her as a pillow. Her dried tears ran down even faster, and her emotions broke out of there cage, letting Sakura cry more than she'd ever cried before. Fear, sorrow, wrong hope, all of them struck her in the heart; she didn't know which emotion to overcome first, or where to even begin, or whether if it were those emotions that struck her in the first place.

"Just wait, in a couple months, his squad will come back before Christmas." Tomoyo said, trying to encourage her friend to flip her frown.

All Sakura ever did was smile a sarcastic face, even Tomoyo knew about it but didn't want to admit it. The pleasure of having even the simplest lie was all one could do at the horrifying moment.

"Maybe you should write a letter," Tomoyo suggested. "I know you aren't able to reply to him, but you can atleast write out how you feel about him."

Sakura widened her eyes at the bright idea, even with her hopes down, she knew that writing a letter would be one simple say to put things. Without thanking her friend, Sakura sprinted towards a table in another room and came back with a pen and blank piece of copy paper. As she slammed the paper down onto another table, Sakura didn't think, she didn't have to. She'd been doing too much thinking already for the past several months; it wasn't worth even trying it again.

_October 22__nd__, 2004_

_Syaoran-kun! I don't know where you are, and I don't know what you're doing at the moment, but I hope you're safe. You don't know what it's like being scared and alone without you, you just don't! But like you said, I'm being… I'm trying to be strong no matter what. I trust that you'll keep your promise and come back someday, just someday. And when that day comes, I don't care what happens, I won't let you go ever again!_

_I know you're strong, and I know you'll make it through… that's why my answer to you is 'YES!' I will! I don't care if were still too young, I don't care about that anymore, you're the most important person to me, you're my number one!_

_**Love, your fiancé Kinomoto Sakura**_

"Yes?" Tomoyo repeated after seeing the sudden word. "Sakura-chan…" Tomoyo gasped, knowing something she hadn't known before Syaoran's departure.

Sakura dug into a drawer and drew out a small blue box. She opened it, revealing a small ring with a small pink sapphire in the middle. "Before he left," Sakura started. "He asked me to marry him."

"You didn't answer before he left?" Tomoyo asked, glaring at the bright jewel that flashed in her eyes.

Sakura slowly shook her head. "I wanted to, but I thought we were too young." She said. She closed the box and rubbed it against her cheeks, cherishing the ring. "I know I love him, and now, I know that I want to be with him forever!"

**December 24****th****, 2004 – Christmas Eve "Scout of War Returns"**

_Do you believe a man deserves a second chance at love?_

_Do you believe that a man can be a changed man after years?_

_Yes, I do._

As Sakura held tightly onto the small box that contained her symbol of love with the man she wanted to be with, she couldn't help but to feel nervous at the airport. Thought she awaited his return in just a few minutes, she hadn't received any letters every since that last one in August.

Those months only gotten worst as he worries kept growing, but she did what Syaoran would have wanted; for her to be brave and strong, and so she was. Every night she would sleep calmly, and every day she would wake with a new morning, though never forgetting her love was at war, she would soon receive a letter from a man whose love is not at war.

"Almost here." Tomoyo said, pointing out the window at a certain airplane that was about to land. "Are you nervous?" She asked.

Sakura nodded her head. "Definitely." But she wasn't sure what she was nervous about. Was it the fact that she got to see her boyfriend finally after more than half a year, or that he might not even be alive; she wasn't sure.

As minutes flew by, the plain finally landed. Hundreds of families crowded the walkway of the entrance, waiting for their own loved ones to return.

The whole room fell silent, as everyone heard the doors of the plan fly open. Footsteps roared through the walkway slowly, but loudly. As the first face was seen, and the soldier raised his hand, everyone screamed and clapped for his return, accepting his bravery and coming back home alive. As more men and women came through, families gathered, and disappeared soon after. Little by little, the soldiers came out and the families left, but little by little, Sakura couldn't find the man she wanted.

As the walkways closed, Sakura felt Tomoyo's hand rest on her shoulders. Her heart started to beat un-normally fast, and her head started to drop sweats of fear. The place around her spun like a dream; somewhere she didn't want to be, ever.

"Sakura-chan." Tomoyo mumbled in a soft tone.

Sakura turned with a smile on her face. "Don't worry, he'll come back." She said with confidence. "I'm sure he will!"

But already, an hour has past, and the sky had darkened, and still, Syaoran was not back. Without thinking anything else, Sakura ran towards the nearest soldier that was still at the airport and tugged at his arm.

"Excuse me sir." She said, getting his attention. "Li Syaoran-kun, where is he?" She asked, accidentally making a demanding tone.

The man made a dull face, expressing a high amount of sorrow. "I'm sorry ma'am, but Syaoran-taichou didn't… we couldn't find him." Was all he said.

Sakura slowly let go of the soldier's arm and breathed in hard with a hard gasp. She made her way down on a chair and sat. Memories of him flashed in front of her eyes. She didn't believe, no, she couldn't believe what she had heard. Was he dead? Or was he alive, and they just couldn't find him?

Tears flowed down her eyes immensely as she sobbed. Tomoyo knew she couldn't do anything anymore to help, but it didn't matter. Sakura cried loudly as she gripped the marriage box harder than ever, holding the one she loved inside.

Tomoyo wrapped her arm around her best friend. She knew that saying _'everything will be okay'_ would just be the wrong thing to do. Nothing she would say could help now, not with her best friend, drowned in a lost love.

**December 25****th****, 2007 – "Christmas Day"**

"Onii-chan, open it!" A more mature Kinomoto Sakura yelped as she opened it.

"Alright then, it better be good." Her brother, Touya, said, trying to make his voice sound grumpy and tough. As he unveiled the present, it was a glass musical sphere of him and his little sister as youngster's years back. He slowly smiled and said, "Arigatou, Sakura."

Sakura smiled brightly and nodded at his gratefulness. She turned towards Tomoyo and smiled at her video camera that she held, filming every moment in her house with every friend. Tomoyo glazed a smile on her face and her eyes met Sakura's smile.

"You look beautiful, Sakura-chan. "Tomoyo complimented as she looked at her best friend.

"Arigatou." Sakura mumbled slowly, shy.

As the night grew even darker, the party in her house only got louder. Sakura watched as her friends smiled at the gifts she had and at the fun they had; though every Christmas that past during her life, she couldn't think of one happier than this. She had everything; the love of her family and friends, but deep inside, she knew that it wouldn't be all complete without the love that she loved before.

As she heard door knocks rumble from the other room, the room fell quiet. _Who could be here at this time of the night?_ Sakura thought, and from the looks of the other faces, she knew that they thought the same. "I'll go get it." Sakura said as she got off her knees and marched towards the door.

As the she opened the door, a tall man with dark brown hair stood on front of her. His eyes were brightly marooned, and he brought a cool uneasy aura around him, causing Sakura to feel uneasy.

"Yes, sir?" Sakura asked. "Can I help you?"

The man cleared his throat. He seemed nervous, but Sakura didn't understand why. "I-I have a few questions for you, would you mind answering them?" He asked.

"S-sure, I guess… but is it important at this time of night?"

"Yes." He said quickly. "Do you believe a man deserves a second chance at love?"

The question struck Sakura dimly. "Y-" Before Sakura could even answer the first question, she was interrupted with already another.

"And as for my third question, do you believe that a man can be a changed man after years?"

Sakura blinked in confusion, _third question?_ Sakura didn't remember even hearing the second question.

"I'm sorry, but you're confusing me now." She said. "I guess I do, but you have to go now." Quickly, Sakura closed the door, but the man held a hand out, stopping it. "Please, sir, leave now."

The man shook his head. "Do you still have them?" He asked.

"Have what?" Sakura asked, still trying to push the door closed with one hand. "Sir, you have to leave now."

"Not yet!" The man said.

"Onii-chan!" Sakura yelled. Quickly, her big brother came up behind her after hearing her cries, staring down the man who stood on his doorstep.

"Who are you?" He asked.

The man ignored him and continued to stare at the emerald eyes of Sakura. "You-" Before he could finish, he felt a hard shove from Touya, forcing him to fall onto his bottom down the steps.

"Leave my little sister alone." Touya said in a demanding tone, seemingly ordering the man around. "Come on Sakura, let's go." As Touya attempted to close the door, but Sakura stepped a foot in the way, preventing his actions. "Sakura?"

Slowly, Sakura slipped under Touya's arm and out onto the steps. "What did you mean… _do I still have them?_" She asked.

"The letters that were sent to you from a man whose love was not at war, about four years ago." The man replied vastly as he got up.

Sakura stood frozen in time. Her heart raced as she wondered how he knew about the letters. Questions ran through her head as she tried thinking. She didn't see it, but she could feel the eyes inside the house that stared at her, wondering what she was doing. As she thought, things started to make sense to her, even though some parts she didn't want to make sense.

_The first question…_ she thought. _Will you marry me?_

A tear fell down her face as she smiled. As she saw through her watery eyes, the man who stood in front of her smiled as well. He took a few steps towards her then stopped. He got to his knees and stared up at her.

"So." He started. "What is your answer to all three of my questions?"

Sakura slowly walked down the steps with tears falling from her. She tasted love as they dripped past her mouth. She got down to her knees and wrapped arms tightly around his neck, squeezing him tightly as to never let him go.

"Yes." She mumbled. "Syaoran-kun." Arising gasps roared from behind her as everyone broke out into a loud silence. The tears ran down Sakura's face even faster, as she tasted the salty feelings from them, it made her thirsty to enough to kiss the man who'd she long awaited every since the day he departed.

…  
…  
…

"_I do, I will marry you, Syaoran-kun."

* * *

I hoped you liked it. I've decided to try something different than what I've always been trying to do, and finally I'm done!  
Again, I hope you liked it, and feel free if review if you must; they are accepted with arms wide open._


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